Friday, October 12, 2007

Vaseline, time to Glide on Over!

Ultrarunners are just weird. I first noticed this when I met Dan and Woody. Don't get me wrong, great guys, both. Great runners, great people, but weird.

As I was preparing for my first 100 mile race in 2001 I noticed that when I got passed a certain mileage things would rub and they would chafe, passed the point where Vaseline, my personal lube system and what I'd always called, WD-40 for the body, did any good whatsoever. Let me tell you, when you're chafing to the point where petroleum jelly doesn't help that isn't much fun. (Ok, I'm talking about a pair of great friends being weird and then I go right into Vaseline, this isn't that typ of blog!) Dan and Woody introduced me to, a my new anti-chafe product.

Them, Well, you gotta get some of this Bag Balm see."



Me, "What's this crap?"



"Dairy farmers use it." Them

"Oh, do they chafe alot?" I ask knowingly.
"They use it on the cows. They glob it on the teats." They retort.

Viola, I had a new personal body lube.

Ok, so now there's Bag Balm, and works great.

Then I meet Chase. Chase, he swears by Boudreaux's Butt Paste (you'd be very surprised the places that chafe in a 30-hour run!)


And my buddy Dave, he won't lace up the shoes for a double-digit run without first applying the nip-guards.

And He's got Two of them!


And they sell these things too, so somebody must use them:

Anti-Monkey Butt




& Squeaky Cheeks
Hey Vaseline



, Time to Glide on over
Give your body a Lube Job!

8 comments:

Chase Squires said...

And when all else fails: Duct Tape.

Mr. Matt said...

Isn't Duct Tape an Anti-Lube? Where should I apply?

Chase Squires said...

I've used it on blisters, like when my heel looks even worse than it did this weekend ... once there's a big, open, oozing sore, where skin is ground down to the tender, red insides and no amount of lube will help ... then, it's time to hahden up and duct tape it.

I also used it once in a race on my, ahem, chest when I forgot band aids ... it was fine going on, but coming off? Yeeeeowwwch

Mr. Matt said...

And yes ladies and gentlemen, this is supposed to be fun! Like I said, Ultrarunners are just weird!

superdave524 said...

Okay, now I'm feeling a little weird. For blisters, the Marines used to issue something called Moleskin. Sort of a super bandaid. Can't imagine it's any more effective than duct tape, though.

Arlene said...

I'm sure that those idiots that run the x-ray machines at the airport have a field day looking inside your suitcase!

Too bad I no longer teach Chemistry...this would make a helluva lab session!

BTW...saw the Barbie-woman on Bayshore this a.m. Felt like giving HER a big hug; she was hanging in there. Didn't look like she needed anything out of your first or second aid kit!

Party on!

Mr. Matt said...

Arlene,
My Bag Balm got confiscated at the Little Rock Airport last weekend, thank goodness it was after the race!
BTW, Barb said the Bag Balm is great on ... better keep that to myself!
Love ya!

Arlene said...

I'll "stick" with the good ole Body Glide. At least I'll get through Boston's Logan Airport with it....

Mwah!